Maybe you guys can give me something of a hint of what’s going on with this because I actually find it a little insulting, and annoying.

I was talking to a friend (of the male variety), when he said “You must have been asked out by someone by now?”

- Now let’s leave aside for the fact that I don’t particularly want anyone right now and just go with it. –

My answer was “Nope. Things like that don’t happen to me!

I get flirted with, I get propositioned (not in a flattering way) but never asked out.”

Now, this isn’t be being all self pitying or for you all to say ‘but of course you do’ or similar. I’m not that young any more, I don’t want to go in for flings or one night stands, it’s just not me. I’m a relationship kind of girl, or at least one who wants to be dated and not just jumped on.
Don’t get me wrong… I get some, shall we say attention but really not of the kind that I’m after.

I will get, for example (insulting and unwelcome):
“My girlfriend is away, will you come round in sexy underwear”
”Will you come round and give me a blow job”

and now and then (which are nice but not what expected):
Holiday offers
Random job offers
Someone holding my hand and falling asleep with my on my sofa because I’m fed up and drunk.

and…oh yeah…but that’s it. No “I really like you” no “would you like to go out for a drink” just offers mostly from guys who actually, already have girlfriends.

Is it something that I’m not aware that I’m doing? Am I just not the dating kind? I don’t GET IT.

(some facts may have been disguised to protect my identity save my dignity save me from further embarrassment)

So, on Friday, as well as other things, I decided that I simply must head up to Regent Street and  pop in on the lovely Bravissimo ladies and get my self properly checked out – by which I mean measured (and embarrassed). After asking for an appointment and getting a swift once over from on of them to decide if my ladies were big enough to be in the shop in the first place…we got going….

Bravissimo Lady: “What size do you wear at the moment?
PJB: “Well, a 34 oranges. Although I think I need a smaller back but a 32 seems too tight.”
BL: “Just from looking at you, you’re a lot bigger than oranges. I’d say cantaloupe melons.”
PJB: *horrified*
“CANTALOUPES?!? No way”
BL: “You’re definitely a 32…possibly a 30…and I think cantaloupes or BIG cantaloupes”
PJB: “But they don’t look that big, they just look like oranges or even apples.”
BL: “You’d be surprised, let me go and get you some to try on.”

And after having to actually get them out in front of her (yes boys, really! I’m so glad I still have a bit of a tan!!)…well, I hate to say it  but she was right. I am in fact a 32 BIG cantaloupes…how wrong can you be?!

(I must say though, I’m impressed that she didn’t even need to measure, she just KNEW)

They can no longer just be boobs, or breasts, or tits…no, it’s in a whole other league. Although not big enough to have their own solar system, they’re just bigger than I’d like… I was fond of my oranges, or what I thought were oranges. 
I mean, perhaps I wouldn’t mind as much if they actually looked the size they are, but they don’t…it’s just an annoyance when trying to buy bras now, it’s not like I suddenly have glamour model worthy boobs.

So, I now have in my possession, two hugely unsexy objects that are supposed to be bras. More like hats for conjoined twins….which, I suppose is what I have.

Which one?!

1.

2.

3.*

4.

5.**

6.

* which means “love is repaid with love”

** and this means “if nothing changed, there would be no butterflies”

VOTE! GO!!

I know I had a brain fog when I was packing to come home, but I wasn’t expecting quite how crap I had actually been. Once I had unpacked all the things I had deemed important (hairdryer, straightners, make up, 5 belts, 6 pairs of shoes and 8 bags), I realised that I hadn’t really brought all that many clothes home.

4 summer dresses (which can’t be worn)
gym clothes
4 pairs of leggings
3 tops (that go with nothing)
1 pair of jeans (that don’t fit)
1 jumper
1 going out dress
2 casual dresses (which I don’t really like)

and none of them went together…..

So, after digging around in the few bits of clothes I had left here…and doing what I do best – shopping, my tiny little wardrobe is starting to look a bit more full:

Shopping is so much more fun in the UK than it is in Spain….well actually, Spain is brilliant for bags and shoes….but clothes, only if you’re a size 10 or smaller…. which I, am not. With little money, I managed a few shopping trips, although everything in the shops is a little ‘body con’ for me…having a few too many curves, it’s not really the look for me….but I have been able to find a couple of things, like this dress. Which was half price when I got to the till!

And of course, a few new pairs of shoes to keep my feet happy:

Next on my list is this dress from M&S and this one from Oasis. I do love a good dress and rarely wear anything else. I have a few parties and Birthday’s coming up so I have to have something good to wear with my new shoes….

…oh and on Friday, I get to go and see my favourite person in the whole wide world…my hairdresser!

(sorry about this post boys, I’ll make it up to you on Friday!)