The Twins (not the XFactor ones!)
Posted by: pinkjellybaby on: November 9, 2009
(some facts may have been disguised to protect my identity save my dignity save me from further embarrassment)
So, on Friday, as well as other things, I decided that I simply must head up to Regent Street and pop in on the lovely Bravissimo ladies and get my self properly checked out – by which I mean measured (and embarrassed). After asking for an appointment and getting a swift once over from on of them to decide if my ladies were big enough to be in the shop in the first place…we got going….
Bravissimo Lady: “What size do you wear at the moment?
PJB: “Well, a 34 oranges. Although I think I need a smaller back but a 32 seems too tight.”
BL: “Just from looking at you, you’re a lot bigger than oranges. I’d say cantaloupe melons.”
PJB: *horrified*
“CANTALOUPES?!? No way”
BL: “You’re definitely a 32…possibly a 30…and I think cantaloupes or BIG cantaloupes”
PJB: “But they don’t look that big, they just look like oranges or even apples.”
BL: “You’d be surprised, let me go and get you some to try on.”
And after having to actually get them out in front of her (yes boys, really! I’m so glad I still have a bit of a tan!!)…well, I hate to say it but she was right. I am in fact a 32 BIG cantaloupes…how wrong can you be?!
(I must say though, I’m impressed that she didn’t even need to measure, she just KNEW)
They can no longer just be boobs, or breasts, or tits…no, it’s in a whole other league. Although not big enough to have their own solar system, they’re just bigger than I’d like… I was fond of my oranges, or what I thought were oranges.
I mean, perhaps I wouldn’t mind as much if they actually looked the size they are, but they don’t…it’s just an annoyance when trying to buy bras now, it’s not like I suddenly have glamour model worthy boobs.
So, I now have in my possession, two hugely unsexy objects that are supposed to be bras. More like hats for conjoined twins….which, I suppose is what I have.
48 Responses to "The Twins (not the XFactor ones!)"
November 9, 2009 at 08:59
Uh-oh!! At least the bras are actually pretty reasonable prices….after you get over the shock of the size of your bangers!
November 9, 2009 at 09:15
ummmm I don’t see ANY problems with that, sexy…
Well… then again… I’m a boobs man… 
Look at the bright side… imagine how many women would LOVE to have cantaloupes?!?!?!?!
xxx
November 9, 2009 at 09:26
I dread to think what my boobies will be once i have stopped breast feeding. They will be very saggy im sure and still huge. I will have to get them out and get them measured but how embarrassing will that be. Oh well.
I hope that your bras are really cute. x
November 9, 2009 at 09:28
Sadly this would never happen to me, I’d be lucky to fill anything more than a B, the same size I’ve been since I grew boobs at 20 (I was late bloomer)….
November 9, 2009 at 09:31
Voxy like I say, I would have as much of a problem if they looked that big, but they don’t!!
Fabby The lady was really nice actually…but the bras (as much as they try to make them nice) just aren’t pretty at all!!
Kirses Are you sure though? I thought the same about mine, that they hadn’t changed much!
November 9, 2009 at 09:56
My friend just got measured and she thought she was a C/D and she’s actually an F. Mine are twice the size of hers and I thought I was a D. God knows what I actually am! Although I think people with a small back size often have bigger cup sizes coz it’s all relative.
November 9, 2009 at 10:02
ummm… u sure they don’t?!?!?!?
(need photographic evidence… maybe for saucy friday?!?!?)
LOL
November 9, 2009 at 10:03
I’m always amazed at how little people know about their boobs… My Ex went through exactly the same thing and went ballistic when she went up 2 sizes… I think the question should be “What made you think you were the size you were in the first place?” because 9 times out of 10 you’re always wrong 
Saddest thing is, you could prob head over to Rigby and Peller and they’d tell you something else hehe
November 9, 2009 at 10:10
Georgia In which case my dear, you might just get a shock! But I agree about the back size thing, the lady even said that actual size of the cup differ a little bit depending on the back size.
MrVox Ohhh I’m not sure I’m feeling THAT saucy!!
Discoman Well, I had a starting point when I was younger (that I had been measured for) and just kind of went up a size as they did….turns out it probably doesn’t work that way!
Different sizes everywhere…it’s really helpful.
November 9, 2009 at 10:18
that’s why I gave the idea on a monday… so you can prepare yourself for a whole week and get used to it before friday…
LOL
PS: Have I made you blush yet?!?!?!
November 9, 2009 at 10:23
damn!!! will have to try harder then… LOL!!
HEY!!! Would you like to model for a photography book I’m working on?!?!?!
Project is called O”ne Step on the Wild Side”!!!
November 9, 2009 at 10:34
you tell me… the pics only go as wild as you will…
The idea is to take what YOU would consider the “wild pinkjellybaby” and transforming it into pictures…
some samples… http://urbanvox.net/image/?p=410
never mind the site… not ready yet… still working on it…
November 9, 2009 at 10:40
Yeah, if I was half my size, no problem! I’ll get back to you when the running pays off!
November 9, 2009 at 10:43
ummm… I don’t think you’d need to wait that long…
plus the shots are a hell of a selfestim booster… (none of the people in the page are professional models)
but again…
u are the boss!!!
xxx
November 9, 2009 at 10:43
Given what you’ve just posted about i hope one of your new over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders is a sports bra for all this running?
November 9, 2009 at 10:46
Vox I can image that they are but there’s no way a camera would be going near me in anything less skimpy than a full body suit for a while yet! Unless you want some portraits, that I can do..face isn’t too bad!
Liz aye yeah I have a decent sports bra! Couldn’t be doing without one!
November 9, 2009 at 10:51
UM!!! Why is that hopeless? I think it’s more realistic…
November 9, 2009 at 11:04
I’m not looking for supermodel bodies for the book…
I find the run-off-the-mill, normal, REALISTIC body much sexier than the holywood/page3/barbie physique…
But I find the old concepts of beauty much more attractive than the plastic filled ones people think are sexy now-a-days…
I’m just weird like that…
That’s why…
November 9, 2009 at 12:20
Thats the problem when you go up a size… or few. The straps are always really chunky. All us girlies want is nice dainty straps. You should see the chunk on maternity bras. Just as well i really hide them. I really look forward to my proper underwear shopping trip. The boy has promised me one i have stopped breast feeding. And i lose the weight i want. Cant wait!
November 9, 2009 at 12:25
Fabby yeah, they are none too pretty…they do nice lacy ones but I can’t do lace, it itches!!
November 9, 2009 at 14:35
Welcome to my world
Actually, that reminds me, need to get remeasured soon.
November 9, 2009 at 15:53
I think my cantaloupes are more like oranges, too. Except most other people think they’re BIG cantaloupes. It’s just a weird system that I think my boobs are smaller than the actually are…
November 9, 2009 at 17:37
I had the same recently as you well know. I’d been wearing a 34C and ended up being a 32E or F depending on the style.
I still wear a 34 back out of choice because it feels better for me, but now I’m in a DD or E cup.
November 9, 2009 at 19:33
Wow. I would kind of love the idea of having big boobs but I think they might look a bit out of proportion on me unfortunately. 
November 9, 2009 at 22:34
Depending on my bra and what I’m wearing and what time of the month it is, some days I feel like mine are more like oranges and some days, I feel like they’re more like cantaloupes. So they’re like… seasonal. lol
You’re very brave for getting measured though. I’ve NEVER been measured. It just seems like a highly awkward experience.
November 9, 2009 at 22:55
Nuttycow I mean, they’ve never been small, I’ve always had trouble finding bras that fit but MAN ALIVE.
Angela my friends all thought it was highly amusing when I told them, but they always say I have big boobs… and I kind of ‘meh’ at them…but maybe I have…
Soupy Surprisingly, if you get a decent make, the smaller back size actually feels better…keeps everything where it should be!
Paula I’m not exactly tall myself… my friend said I’m Jessica Rabbit…which if I was, I would LOVE…but I’m more like um…someone who isn’t her!
Felisa mine aren’t all that seasonal which is odd, and I think that’s why I kind of assumed they were still the size they were a few years ago.
It was ok, just a bit embarrassing!!
November 10, 2009 at 02:38
ok, I’m done fanning myself. All this boob talk is making it warm in here.
November 10, 2009 at 04:32
You are so lucky though, I still struggle with my bra and wish I could get em properly checked.
Boyfriend just said I had pears as boobies, not sure if that is good.
November 10, 2009 at 09:03
Zstep I did try and make it a little more male friendly…
Miss B nothing wrong with apples! still a handful!
TQ You’re over in December aren’t you? You should get them checked out while you’re over here…..
Pears…..better than grapes I guess!
November 10, 2009 at 15:18
I know that feeling all too well. Mine are certainly melons… =/ On the up side, I’m assuming you don’t have back issues (as I do) from carrying the gigantic load? Hahah.
November 10, 2009 at 15:18
oh i was the same…i see mine as small…however i came out of bravissimo having gone in wearing a 32D as a 30F!!! It sounds ridiculous but actually it fits well, is comfy and actually feel supported….i still feel is a ridiculous size though.
November 10, 2009 at 15:22
Amind i’ve not found that I have back problems, no! Which is a bonus
respectableside exactly..I have yet to see if the plunge one I brought keeps them where they should be.. but the other is pretty comfy.
November 10, 2009 at 15:29
Urgh i know this so well, I went to get measure recently and went from a 34B to a 32DD, and the bra’s are horrible. Although im still not sure how the chest to cup size works, a DD still seems pretty small to me…
November 10, 2009 at 15:30
Responding to your twit:
“my my…don’t you all like talking about boobs! http://bit.ly/fsjsi (blog post)”
Yup… they are my favourite subject!!!”
LOL!!!
November 10, 2009 at 15:31
smidge…i used to buy 32DD’s from victorias secret…..ship them over….the best ones are the biofit….i am just sad that there are now so few companies that make my size…
November 10, 2009 at 15:34
Smidge I thought it was based on how much bigger the bust measurement was to the chest measurement? It is confusing…although I do now have bras that fit!
Vox I noticed!!!
respectable I find the Freya ones the nicest and was surprised that Wonderbra go up into the bigger sizes.
November 10, 2009 at 15:44
i also found masquerade make some really nice ones…..i can buy the wonderbra ones on asos which makes it cheaper…
November 10, 2009 at 15:46
I mean… they are my favourite subject right now… I am in a boobs mood… tomorrow who knows…
hehehe
November 11, 2009 at 22:24
Bet you’re looking well skinny now that you’ve got your boobs in the right bra, though. It’s amazing the difference that it makes 
November 11, 2009 at 22:26
Katja sadly, no! It will take more than a good bra to do that! A girdle maybe
November 11, 2009 at 23:41
I have been into Bravissmo with a couple of girlfriends, which is odd as I’m totally not a boob man… but it’s always an experience!
And those fitting ladies are definitely very talented…
November 14, 2009 at 14:12
Hmm im another fraidy that wont go to get measured. I was measured at 13 for my first real bra and since then i have kind of self- diagnosed my size. i think i am small coconuts allready. But i dont want to find out im Large watermellon or something!
November 23, 2009 at 22:04
Ah, as long as you’ve got a nice bra that doesn’t make you scream and/or bleed, it’s ok.
What I like about Bravissimo is that they don’t tape measure you, they fit you according to which bra you want.
Unlike the harridans at bloody Rigby and Peller, who made me cry aged 15 and sent me home with a bra that looked like dinner plates, that even my gran wouldn’t be seen dead in.
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November 9, 2009 at 08:55
I really need to go and get measured but I’m too afraid of the results. I think I may have watermelons